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And the Lord Said….Statue of Liberty on Three!

The talk of the NFL season has not been the play of Drew Brees or the strength of the Green Bay Packers…this has been the year of Tim. The man who, as a second year NFL player, has become the starting quarterback of the Denver Broncos and a veritable national lightning rod. Tim Tebow is, you see, a devout Christian, and he makes no bones about that fact, often dropping to one knee, or “Teebowing”, on the field after plays.

The problem is that Tebow the quarterback is at times historically awful, throwing balls well over heads and into the ground. He has been at times this year so bad that it was fair to ask how it was that Denver strung together a long mid-season win streak….the guy was awful using any measure. But after his game winning pass against the Steelers this weekend he broke a Twitter record with 9420 tweets per second-per second! So the Tebow story has captured our national attention and set the stage for the battle of “the pundits versus the converts”.

Regardless of your views about Tebow the man, he has not been a very highly skilled quarterback in terms of his ability read defenses or throw the ball. In fairness to his critics, he’s been historically bad and despite the six game win streak he threw for 69 and 60 yards in two games against Kansas City this year. But Denver won both games so Tebow kept his job. Based on performances like that he’s been ridiculed by the pundits who predicted his swift and humiliating demise.

The Converts, on the other hand, pointed to Denver’s penchant for last minute comebacks, often in the most improbable ways as a sign that Tim Tebow was benefiting from Devine intervention. Tim wins, and Jesus saves, I guess.

The truth about Tebow is that he really seems to be a genuinely good guy, he performs missionary work, he meets with sick kids, and most importantly he doesn’t have a blip on his record—he is clearly a great role model. But at the same time, it is difficult to imagine a more annoying individual because of his near constant references to Jesus and his Lord….we get it buddy….please do not become the NFL Evangelist.  Like most Americans I like to separate my sports from my religion. So Tim Tebow is annoying, but can he play?
Most so-called pundits are too quick to judge football talent which is why we have been blessed with the likes of Brian Bosworth, Ryan Leaf and Akili Smith- all fabulous busts after being “projected” as great NFL talents. Then there are the really bad projections like quarterback Tom Brady, arguably one of the best of all time, who was selected in the sixth round and was said not to be able to throw well or long, he didn’t respond well to pressure and he was slow. Pundits be damned!

These so-called experts generally miss as many as they get right, so let’s wait and see on Tim Tebow the player. Remember we here in TV land will not decide if or when Tim Tebow will become a successful NFL quarterback. Those decisions will be made, for the most part, by the defenses he will face and the coaches who direct those defenses in the next year or so. It will not be a complicated evaluation process either: Tim Tebow will succeed or he will not and there is not going to be a lot of hand wringing if he doesn’t.

You see, the road to the Pro Football Hall of Fame is strewn with the likes of Todd Marinovich, Ryan Leaf, Jeff George, Art Schlicter and the hapless Jamarcus Russell. There is simply no room in the National Football League for people who cannot perform at a high level week in and week out, especially at the quarterback position regardless if they are getting the play call from Jesus or not.

The public debate about Tebow the player, man, and role model are just an ESPN fueled sideshow, as every ESPN football analyst has predicted Tebow’s future. They do not, however, have any say in the outcome of the grand Tebow experiment. No my friends, only Tebow and his teammates on offense can write the ending to this story. If any trend has emerged it is that this guy will manage to have a professional career and may become a very strong player if he can continue to improve. In the past five weeks the Tebows, I mean Broncos, played the New England Patriots, Buffalo Bills, Kansas City Chiefs and the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the questions remain. Prior to the start of the playoffs Tebow looked ill equipped to handle the pro game, he passed the ball poorly, he didn’t manage to run well and in the final three games of the season the Broncos were beaten actually crushed by the Bills and Patriots. Tebow struggled mightily and whether you are a Tebow fan or not there was an unsettling sense that Tim’s days were numbered. Despite the poor record, the Broncos play in the weakest division in pro football and they qualified for the playoffs with an 8-8 record.

In Tebow’s first playoff game he would face the famed Pittsburgh Steelers and even the Bronco players seemed resigned to their demise at the hands of a typically ferocious Steeler defense. This past weekend, however, we were treated to an all new Tim Tebow. He still threw the short ball poorly but he went deep frequently, he threw very few bad balls and he was not intercepted once. In a must win game Tebow was not only “not awful”; he was very good,  throwing for 316 yards and an implausible (not miraculous) win over the heavily favored Steelers. So the story will continue with this guy and I’m sort of rooting for him except for this weekend where I’m hoping that the Patriots destroy him. But later, I hope he can become a viable quarterback because this league needs fewer Rex Ryan’s and more like Tim Tebow. So good luck Tim, just not this weekend. Go Pats.

One Response to And the Lord Said….Statue of Liberty on Three!

  1. avatar Scott says:

    As the old meme goes – “Haters gonna hate”, but he remains consistant in his message. I am not a Tebow fan, but I admire him for his conviction. He is one of about 1600 people playing at the NFL level. Even the guys that suck, are still better than almost everyone else. So while we predict the demise of players and their off-field action (Pacman, TO, etc) he continues to put forth the effort and moves forward. It’s funny how lucky a hard working man can be.

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Posted in Man Cave

The Year-End Results – Auggie Versus The Stock Pickers

It was a bouncy and uncomfortable year for investors.  With nice movement in the fourth quarter, the Dow managed to end the year up 5.5%, but the tech-heavy NASDAQ had its first losing year since 2008, with a decline of 1.8% for the year.

Exactly one year ago The Bizzy Life challenged the experts to a little stock picking contest.  Representing The Bizzy Life was comic Auggie Smith, who has zero investing experience, and chose his stocks by literally throwing darts at the Wall Street Journal stock page.  We put Auggie’s results up against Kiplinger Magazine’s “Top Stocks for 2011″, and our third contender is the low cost Vanguard World Fund.  Here is how you would have done if you had invested $10,000 with each of our experts:

  1. Auggie Smith can now add “investment expert” to his comedic introduction, as he beat out both Kiplingers and the experts at Vanguard.  A $10,000 investment in Augs picks would now be worth $10,135.00.  Seven of Auggie’s ten stocks increased in value, with Centerpoint and IBM leading the pack.
  2. Kiplinger Magazine’s Ten Stocks for 2011 did not fare so well, coming in second place at a value of $9526.00.  Only four of the ten stocks increased in value, led by Caribou Coffee and United Rentals.
  3. Although the Vanguard World Fund was in second place most of the year, it was hurt by the overseas economic turbulence late in the year, coming in at $9026.00.

In retrospect, I should not have chosen the World Fund for this competition, as all the other stocks were domestic.  A simple Dow index fund would have won the competition by a few hundred dollars.

Watch for our new 2012 competition in the next week when we will again challenge the experts!

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Posted in Investing

The Next Big Thing In Beverages

The beverage sector has long been the hottest selling category in packaged goods. This is true of both soft drinks and alcoholic beverages. While other packaged food manufacturers are very pleased to achieve the rare 40% profit margin, beverage makers routinely see upwards of 60% margins.

From yogurt drinks and “coco waters” to flavored malts and infused spirits there seems no end to the public willingness to try new drinks. Basically, beverage introductions follow the maxim: “If you pour it, they will pay.” The only limit seems to be available shelf space. So, it’s rather surprising that one of the world’s oldest and most versatile alcoholic beverages has so little of that shelf space in America. I am talking about hard cider.

At it’s best, the light, sparkling style of cider made in the Normandy region of France is a remarkably sophisticated beverage that is very food-friendly, makes an excellent cocktail base and has the effervescent charm of sparkling wine – all at a fraction of the cost.

The New York Times described it this way, “some Normandy cider is equal in delicacy and flavor to fine Champagnes.” This is rather amazing praise when you think about the difference in price. And, this comment is even more amazing when you learn it was published by the Times in 1896. So what happened to cider, and why aren’t we all drinking it at dinner today? Hopefully, that will change very soon.

It’s only a matter of time before a genuine Normand-style cider is produced here. For the well-heeled readers of TheBizzyLife, I would like to suggest an investment opportunity that will quietly have the first-to-market player toasting their success for many profitable years to come. It is a new cidery in Sonoma called Pomona Cider. This startup is headed by upstart cidermaker, Wayne Van Loon. Mr. Van Loon seems to have pulled together all the components required to properly launch this “new” beverage in America. And he is now looking for financial backers to increase his size.

After honing his fermentation skills in the Oregon wine industry, Van Loon moved to Normandy to learn the cider trade as an apprentice at Domaine Dupont. He returned anxious to revive this distinguished sparkling beverage in the U.S. He quickly recognized that the missing component was the proper fruit. Ideal cider apples were simply nowhere to be found. But, Van Loon was undaunted. Combing orchards throughout the nation’s apple-producing regions turned up nothing promising. But a chance conversation with an old retired orchardman turned up rumors of an abandoned orchard in Central California bearing “odd old cider apples”. That led to Van Loon’s “eureka” moment.

Van Loon discovered this orchard hidden in the Santa Ynez foothills where a stand of mature apple trees were producing what may be the ideal American cider fruit. Because the trees were misclassified years ago, this fruit can now be had for pennies on the dollar. If you want to find out how to participate in this Pomona Cider venture, contact Van Loon here: info@pomonacider.com

With his BATF license in hand, recently acquired Champagne-style equipment procured and a small production underway, Van Loon is now looking for financial partners to take his enterprise to the next level – by establishing a new planting in northern California where this wonderful variety was developed and then adding Normand varieties for blending. I predict this will be the beginning of a whole new beverage category and a huge boom in consumption – much like the booms in the consumption of “white zinfandel”, sake, craft microbrews, and infused vodkas changed the culinary landscape over the last four decades. Better still, while these other beverages had established competitors at the ready, American cider is still a ground-floor opportunity for a savvy investor. But I’m getting ahead of myself in this tale of a modern Johnny Appleseed.

From colonial times to well into the 19th century, hard cider was America’s beverage of choice. It was quite literally the “breakfast of champions” for the general population at the time of the Revolutionary War. This was an unsophisticated brew – heavy, unfiltered and very high in alcohol due to “jacking,” the term for freeze distillation. The fall cider was often fortified into Apple Jack, by leaving it outside and then periodically discarding some hard chunks of the frozen water, while the softer icy cider containing the alcohol was retained for consumption or further fermentation. Continuing this jacking of the fermented juice, cider with an alcohol content of less than 10% could be concentrated to over 30% alcohol. This kind of strong brew was the colonialists preferred beverage for breakfast and lunch.

Cider was a truly populist drink in early America, enjoyed equally by the working class and aristocrats. Around 1625, William Blackstone supposedly sowed the seeds for the very first American apple orchard, close to Beacon Hill. And William Endicott, the first governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, was a distinguished orchardist; as were George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. Cider was held in very high regard up to the end of the 1800′s, but its production faded and died in America.

The change came with the westward migration. On the ranches and farms surrounding the rural settlements in the plains states, home brewers found themselves sitting on land far more suited to grain than orchards, so half of the nation’s taste began shifting to beer. Unfortunately, the other half of the population in urban areas were quicker to embrace temperance. Eventually, these “Drys” prevailed, ushering in nationwide prohibition. And with the 18th Amendment, hard cider fell on hard times.

Cider however has remained very popular in many other parts of the world – the U.K., Belgium, South Africa and of course in northern France. The Normandy region is where la pomme à cidre really shows it’s finest form. As far as I know, Normandy is the only region in France that has no classified AOC (Appelation d`Origin Contrôlée) wines. But, the sparkling ciders there are remarkable. They are clear, light and dry – much like Brut Champagne. They have effervescence similar to beer. And, at just 6% alcohol, they are less intoxicating and lower in calories than wine. Plus, they have a wonderfully bright green apple bouquet that makes them perfectly compatible with appetizers, sushi and lighter entrees.

The French AOC designation is the government’s guarantee of origin and quality currently enjoyed by a number of wines and cheeses, has been awarded to only two ciders. The Cidre Appelation Pays d`Auge Contrôlée, where Van Loon apprenticed, is one of them. Here ciders must be produced from designated areas within the Pays d`Auge using specific apple varieties. Cidre Pays d`Auge must also meet strict production criteria: They must be made of 100% juice with no added water or sugar, no use of concentrate, and fermentation must be achieved with natural yeasts.

According to Van Loon, the Pays d’Auge has approximately 185 apple varieties approved for the production of calvados and cider. Cider apples are then divided into four categories according to their proportion of sugars, acidity and tannins – Sweet, Bittersweet, Sharp and Bittersharp. Typically, French ciders are a blend of juices from several cultivars to provide more depth of flavor. There are few apples that will make a good cider all by themselves. The Golden Russet is one such variety, and is prized in both single variety and multi-variety blends of cider. Another is the Wickson Crab, named for Edward Wickson the head of great California fruit authority and California’s leading pomological authority about a century ago.

Wickson was a mentor of sorts to one Albert Etter, the man who developed this new ideal cider apple. Etter combined raw aptitude with unusual vision, making it his life goal to create new fruit varieties uniquely suited to California and the Pacific Northwest. In reality, Etter was a methodical lunatic, probably suffering from OCD, and absolutely fixated on apples. In 1900, at the age of 28, Etter began by growing a grid of several hundred varieties obtained as seedlings from the new University of California Extension. He then systematically crossed these varieties to create literally thousands of new hybrids.

The diminutive Wickson Crab may be Etter’s crowning achievement. Crossbred from two obscure varieties (the Spitzenberg Crab and the Newton Crab) Etter may have stumbled on the perfect cider apple. Unlike many cider apples, this variety is a delicious table fruit that was likely mislabeled and renamed as the Crimson Gold. And now it seems Van Loon has stumbled on a mother of them in an abandoned orchard. This is like finding beverage gold.

And true to his name, Van Loon has been overcome by a bit of pomological lunacy too. With his grand vision of creating a “grand cru,” Norman-style cidre in America, Van Loon believes he will ultimately need to blend several Norman cider varieties into his Wickson’s juice. To achieve that end, much like Etter before him, he sourced French cider varieties from an Ivy League University testing station; currently the only source in the U.S. for many obscure apples. However, unlike Etter, Van Loon has no ready nursery on which he can graft. So Van Loon did something brilliantly subversive – he grafted his French cuttings onto existing trees in a giant agri-business orchard to keep these varieties alive until he is ready for them.

Using digital illustrations of trees and GPS plotting overlaid on a detailed topographical map of this orchard, Van Loon can return at any time and “harvest” future cuttings from the host trees. This is a truly victimless crime, as the host trees are unharmed, the additional odd apples produced will be sorted and thrown away, and the cuttings used as grafts were all certified USDA disease-free. Someday these apples may catch the puzzled eye of a migrant worker who wonders how the wildly different apples ended up on a few odd branches. They will be ignored or pruned and he will move on.

The best thing about this bit of agricultural subversion is it’s accidental marketing genius. This story will become an origin myth for Pomona cider that will be whispered in wine bars and restaurants and seen in beverage columns forevermore – but it will never be confirmed, because the location of the host orchard cannot be revealed. There is no crime when no body can be found.

With these apples, and this story, Van Loon is positioned to become much like the Randall Grahm of ciders. In the 1980’s Grahm of Bonny Doon Vineyard, called himself the Rhône Ranger and attended wine events in a Lone Ranger costume touting the beauty of ugly varietals. His idiosyncratic wines and eclectic persona helped pioneer the boom in Syrah and other Rhône varietals in Californian. And that was just a gimmick. Van Loon’s genuine apple antics, dedicated pomology and pioneering spirit are certain to do the same for cider. If you want to find out more or participate in his lunacy, contact Van Loon here: info@pomonacider.com.

Keep in mind on New Year’s eve that Norman-style cidre makes a great alternative to sparkling wine. If you want to try a great one a recommendation follows below:

Cidre Bouché Brut de Normandy, produced by Domaine Familial Etienne Dupont

Cidre Bouch is a naturally sparkling cider created using the traditional method of the Pays d’Auge. Full of fruit and freshness, the taste reveals the aromas of apples and citrus with finesse (“cidre bouché” is a generic term for traditional cider, literally “cider under cork”). This cider is produced in a controlled fermentation in stainless steel vats using indigenous yeasts. Unpasteurized and unfiltered, stabilization is carried out via successive racking.

There are about 6000 trees of typical Pays d’Auge apple varieties in the Domaine Dupont orchards. Typical varieties include Saint-Martin, Binet, Noel de champs, Mettais, Frequin and Rouge Duret. Most are bitter sweet. Sweet, acidic, and tannic apples are all used in the same proportion for balance.

If you are unable to locate this amazing cider, you may be able to purchase it through their distributor here: http://www.bunitedint.com/company/contact_us/

 

Suggestion for further reading on this cider; download the PDF here:http://www.bunitedint.com/information/producers/sales_sheets/51/

 

 

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Posted in Investing, Sipping

What To Do If You Are Arrested

There are two questions lawyers are asked by family and friends from the moment word gets out that law school has begun:  “How could you represent a rapist and still consider yourself to be a good person?” and “What should I do if I’m arrested or have been stopped by the police?”

Today we’ll take a stab at the second question primarily because I’m sick of answering the first question, plus my testy Editor has ordered me to have an answer on his desk by Wednesday.  I don’t know what’s going on but he had quite a few diagrams of a local bank spread out across his desk the other day and he was asking all sorts of questions about how to reach me in the middle of the night.

So what should a person do if they’ve been arrested?  But first a disclaimer:  the police tend to dislike this type of advice (and the people who give it) because they see it as interfering with their primary investigative function. In our adversarial system it is one of the defense attorney’s functions to make sure that people understand their various civil rights.  I recognize that this type of advice does interfere with the police function but that that is precisely what I do for a living,  so here goes. I figure we’ll start with the technical legal response.

Shut the hell up Francis, the nice police officer is not your friend after she has placed the handcuffs on your wrists or if she is asking you how your car managed to be in the ditch….just shut up!

It is true that the police are awesome and that they come when we need them and I’m not being facetious…the police are your friend in the overwhelming majority of your interactions with them. So please don’t take this to mean that you should not call the police if you see some knucklehead slapping some kid around…or you work at Penn State and the coach is lathering up with a ten year old.

No, my friends today we are dealing only with YOU and what YOU need to do if you’re arrested and want to preserve the ability to have a fair trial.  You see, the police are most assuredly not your local “Officer Friendly” once they slap the cuffs on you….they are listening to every word you utter so that they can use your words against you in court.  I get it, since you were in third grade you’ve been taught to tell the truth and to cooperate with the police….but when the police officer has made a determination that you have committed a crime and placed you in custody you are not required to cooperate….if you do, do so at your peril.

But I can explain that they have the wrong guy.

Maybe, but it is highly unlikely at the scene and once the arrest determination is made the police are generally reluctant to let people leave. You may feel that you have “nothing to hide” and while you may be completely innocent—you’ll be wasting your breath in most cases trying to convince the police officer.  You need to “tell it to the judge” is a common refrain from police officers and they mean it because only a judge (or jury) matters once you’ve been charged.  The police gather information and they make arrests if they believe that they have probable cause, or reasonable suspicion, to do so.  The officers smiling at you across the table have already decided that YOU are their man…don’t be offended if they have trouble believing you that it’s all a big misunderstanding.  They do not prosecute the arrested suspect, they do not decide questions of quilt and they do not impose sentence upon conviction.  The fact that the other guy started it or that the country club you were at for the past seven hours has a two drink limit might not be enough for the local chief to start drafting an apology.  No sir, you are their guy or gal and they are listening in the hope that you confess, say something inconsistent or that you fill in the blanks on details of the night’s events.

Let’s be very clear about one thing; the vast majority of police officers are decent, hardworking and honest….with one unique qualifying attribute.  They have a tendency to be bulldogs when defending their decision to arrest an individual.  Police should be as objective as possible when evaluating the facts of a case but I have yet to meet the officer who will readily agree that they arrested the wrong person. It just doesn’t happen.  When the police make an arrest they are usually convinced that they made the right decision and they tend to view the facts in a very different light than you or a jury might.

I am always amazed when a prospective client tells me that he was arrested, and refused the breathalyzer test,  but then submitted to the field sobriety tests and was just chatting up a storm.  You would not believe how many people actually delude themselves into thinking that they managed to convince the police that they were not intoxicated and that they managed to make friends with the arresting officer.

Please do not drink and drive, but if you are stopped and the officer begins to ask questions about whether you’ve been drinking and if you have a right to refuse the breath test and you elect to do so…why would you submit to a handful of field sobriety tests

It may ultimately be in your best interests to speak with the police….just make certain that when you do you have an attorney next to you and that you and your attorney have a signed agreement that what you say cannot be used against you. So if you are arrested and you are overwhelmed with the desire to speak…try this

“I’d like to speak with an attorney right now”!

You’ll know you’ve made the right decision when the officer doesn’t seem quite so friendly anymore.

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Posted in Livin' Large

A Defense Strategy For The Ages! Or As I Like To Say – “Was That Wrong?”

Before getting to the point today, I need to explain that I’ve been an attorney for a long time.  Over the course of my career I’ve handled virtually every manner of civil and criminal legal matter. More to my point here today, I’ve tried cases brought against people accused of sexual misconduct, including civil and criminal defense of priests accused of the very same thing as former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky. It is a difficult position to be in from both the perspective of a defense attorney. So I say this with an acute understanding of the pressures facing both Sandusky and his lawyers….

Have you people lost your minds?

Mr. Sandusky is in a world of trouble. He’s facing a series of criminal charges accusing him of sexually assaulting children who were receiving support and service from Sandusky’s “Second Mile” charity. The case appears strong and it broke this fall when it was revealed that a student assistant at Penn State, Mike McQuery, in 2002 observed Sandusky and a young boy in a shower. McQueary said that Sandusky and the boy were naked, and that “the boy was up against the wall, facing the wall and Jerry was directly behind him in a very close position.” He characterized what he observed as some form of “intercourse”…..so it is clear that Mr. Sandusky is staring at the real prospect of prison.

In these stressful situations it is not uncommon for defendants and their attorneys to make key mistakes. Many clients feel a compelling desire to speak out due to the knowledge that they did not commit any crime, and then there are those who want to speak out because they have deluded themselves into believing that they are innocent. Given Sandusky’s remarks it appears that he may be in the latter category. Regardless of which type of defendant we are dealing with, if there is a constant in this business it is that client’s should not speak to the police or the prosecutor unless it is in the context of a cooperation or plea deal. In my view a client should never speak with the media in a case of this nature, a case where there is no ability to offer an alibi or a compelling argument that the crime could not have been committed. Nothing can be gained because the indictments will not be withdrawn and there is the real risk that prospective jurors will be exposed to the statements and the way in which they were said. So it was with great interest akin to rubber necking at the scene of a freeway accident that I listened to Sandusky’s interview with Bob Costas. That was just the most bizarre thing I’d ever heard in a sexual assault case as Sandusky admitted to horsing around while showering with children. He admitted “hugging them” and touching their legs “without intent of sexual contact.” But the real killer was “Am I sexually attracted to underage boys?… Sexually attracted? You know, [no], I enjoy young people…”

My first reaction was that this knucklehead needed an attorney and he needed one fast. I was flabbergasted when I read that Sandusky was represented by counsel and that the Sandusky interview with Costas was originally supposed to be an interview with his attorney. I get it, I really do…my partner and I once agreed to allow a 48 Hours crew to follow us in a case where a mentally challenged homeless woman started a fire that claimed the life of six firefighters. The difference is that we did not give any access to our client nor did we make any statements likely to enrage people….so spare me the tired nonsense that you Mr. Amendola know better than the rest of us….you clearly made a terrible mistake because your client sounded like an idiot.

You see Mr. Sandusky, we don’t allow old men to shower with youngsters, and if you were their father it would still be creepy and wrong. There it is…there’s the word for this – creepy. It is creepy because the defendant doesn’t get it and as an attorney it is creepier still that the defendant’s attorney sat by while the bizarre interview was conducted.

Mr. Amendola, your client sounded guilty, and possibly mentally challenged, if what he was trying to defend was this idea that an elderly adult should be “horseplaying” with children while showering naked with them. Now maybe it’s just my New England upbringing, you know that old Puritan thing, but I would say that Mr. Sandusky is in a world of hurt if the best he can muster is something along the lines of “Is that wrong?”. It was funny when Jason Alexander said it on the Seinfeld television show; oh it is still sort of funny – just in a different way.

But, let’s not overreact, the case hasn’t really even started and Mr. Sandusky and his lawyer have plenty of time to allow his remarks to fade…people won’t even remember the interview…..just don’t do it again. Right? Wrong. Fast forward to December 3, 2011 and the determined duo of Sandusky and Amendola sit down with Jo Becker of the New York Times,  and once again, prove that these two cats don’t seem to understand the situation. In that interview Sandusky again has trouble explaining exactly how it is that he “likes” boys….which again misses the point. A Penn State assistant observed you in the shower with a boy in what the assistant described as an inappropriate position….why do these two feel compelled to explain what Sandusky meant when he said he “liked boys”, who cares. If you are going to defend yourself in the court of public opinion would you please tell us that you weren’t naked in a shower with a boy embracing him from behind….and why it’s all just a big mistake.

Enter the newest member of the Pennsylvania version of the “Dream Team”…..Karl Rominger. Finally, someone who can help us to understand why this is just an innocent misunderstanding….Mr. Rominger, you have the floor sir: “Some of these kids don’t have basic hygiene skills,” attorney Karl Rominger said. “Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body.” What is it that people say today…OMFG…..what is the color of the sky in your world Mr. Rominger? You see, Mr. Rominger, we here on Planet Earth tend to take a dim view of the assault of children –  even “juvenile delnquents”. Here’s a newsflash Skippy, you are spending way too much of your time trying to explain away an inexplicable fact pattern and the stupidity of your client speaking out….the whole wide world finds it “strange” that Sandusky would be showing 12-14 year old kids how to apply soap to their bodies by getting into a shower with them…..you guys are not even trying here….not even close. But Rominger did make one comment that is partially correct: “The problem is if you’re an innocent person who’s not articulate, you’re not going to come across well, but you’re still innocent,” Rominger said “A guilty person who is very articulate might come across innocent. So it’s not a fair fight.” You are right, it is not a fair fight. Perhaps if you and co-counsel would shut the hell up and muzzle up the creepy looking old guy with novel views of man/boy relationships it would be a fairer fight….now shut up and figure out how you can explain why your client had a naked kid pinned up against a shower wall….in other words boys, defend your client.

One Response to A Defense Strategy For The Ages! Or As I Like To Say – “Was That Wrong?”

  1. avatar Sugel says:

    Wide receivers coach Mike McQueary told a grand jury that in March 2002 when he was a graduate assistant, he saw Sandusky attacking a boy about 10 years old in a shower at the Nittany Lions’ practice center. McQueary did not go to police but instead told Paterno, Curley and Schultz, although it is unclear how detailed a description he gave. Schultz, in turn, notified Spanier.

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